How to Find Yourself When You’re Feeling Lost
Do you often stop and wonder if your life means anything or if you’re heading in the right direction?
There’s a lot of reasons why human beings might feel lost. You might be unable to pursue your passion or you think you’re failing to live up to the expectations. It might be a constant feeling or an event might trigger it, like the loss of a loved one.
Whatever the reason, you’ll be wanting to know how to find yourself. This isn’t going to be easy, as our current situation isn’t always ideal for tips like traveling to a new country.
However, it’s still possible by doing the things below. Read on to find out the answer to the question, “How do you find yourself amidst everything happening to you right now?”
1. Understanding why you are feeling lost in life
If you’ve been feeling lost, you must first find out what these are before you can change them for the better. You might feel like you’re only going through the motions. Or you might be only doing things because others expect you to do them.
This is what happens when you don’t lead your own life and get out of your comfort zone. You become so preoccupied with friends and family members outlook on life that you don’t know how to live your own.
Another possibility is that your past mistakes still haunt to the point where you can’t be yourself. They’re always in the back of your mind and you continue living your life with this burden, not allowing yourself to express what it means for you to live your life without that mental stress.
Being stagnant and staying in a situation that doesn’t make you happy can also take a toll on you.
2. Face the Past and Let Go of Your Regrets
The past is already set; there’s nothing you can do to change it, so what’s left for you to do is to accept it. The longer you hold onto that emotional baggage from your past, the heavier it gets.
Every day, it reminds you of the regrets and pain you’ve experienced. What you don’t realize is that they take so much out of your present-day happiness.
First, you have to recognize these and what may be holding you back from letting go of your grief and regrets. Then, look for lessons you can gain from these and if you can, find ways to make them right.
Acknowledge that you’re in a different place at the present and you can take steps to change where you are right now. While you can’t do anything about the past, you can do something about the present and the future. Separate yourself from the past by accepting it has happened, and then live a new life that would bring you joy.
3. Accept Yourself in Whole
People are good at wallowing in their mistakes, which makes them see themselves in a more negative light. This makes it harder for them to accept themselves even if they’re a good person.
One way to counter the negative thoughts is to list all your strengths on a piece of paper. Also, list everything you’ve accomplished and all the hardships you’ve overcome. Think of how you made another person’s day a little better, like clearing the snow on a neighbor’s driveway.
The purpose of this is to help you see your own worth amidst all the mistakes you made and all the hardships. You don’t have to list them all at once; you may list one every day as you think of it. You may also add to it every time you accomplish something; remember to keep it growing.
4. Realize That Nobody Is Perfect
This tip is in line with accepting yourself in spite of your flaws and even embracing these flaws. You can acknowledge that you have weaknesses and be okay with it at the same time.
Sometimes, people stress out over the fact that they can’t do everything or that they can’t be everything. If you have this habit, stop and accept that this is impossible for a person, no matter how talented he or she may be.
There are some things you’re going to be good at, and then there are some things you’re not capable of. You’re going to make mistakes – a lot of them, in fact – but if you keep the above tip in mind, you’ll be able to accept those and move on.
This applies to every other person you see; don’t put them on a pedestal and compare yourself to them. They’re not perfect either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them. If you can love other people in spite of their imperfections, you can love yourself the same way.
However, it’s also not a bad idea to self-reflect while you’re at it and recognize any bad behavior.
5. Self-Reflect and Stop Self-Destructive Habits
Becoming too obsessed with your flaws is one thing, but recognizing them is another. This is the first step to eliminating any habit you may have that only brings you down.
Obvious examples of bad habits are consuming too much alcohol or gambling. Some bad habits, however, are not that noticeable to other people or even to you, and this often damages our well-being and slows our self-improvement.
For example, letting others take advantage of you is self-destructive behavior. So is self-pitying and setting yourself up for failure.
Look within yourself and see what might be causing your unhappiness. Are you treating yourself right? Are you letting others treat you right? Is social media having a negative influence on you?
Once you’ve found your behavioral patterns and their roots, look for ways to fight against the urge to do them. An example is learning to say no when other people push their responsibility toward you.
Do some self-reflection in conjunction with the above tips and you’ll find how to be your best self.
6. Know What You Want
If you’re feeling lost, chances are that you don’t know what you want yet and what will make you happy. This is okay, but you do have to set a goal for yourself at some point.
First, look at your surroundings and determine whether this is the life you want. Are your friends the kind of people who are good for you? Do you have a good career that makes you feel fulfilled and that sustains you?
If not, you now have an idea of what you don’t want, which can then lead you to the things you do want. This could be a new career, a new hobby, a new house, or even a loving companion.
Of course, switching careers, for example, is going to be tough. In this case, you’ll have to set up your life in a way that it will accommodate this change. For example, you may have to build some savings or enroll in classes first before you can make the leap. Including journaling in your daily routine is also a great way to improve your emotional state, while helping you get more comfortable in your own skin.
7. Let Go of Things That Don’t Make You Happy
With knowing what you want comes discovering the things that don’t make you happy. Is your relationship not working out but you’re afraid of being alone? This relationship might be preventing you from realizing your true self.
First of all, you’re missing out on a relationship that can make you feel empowered. You’re also missing out on a great relationship with yourself, which you must nurture first.
This applies to not only relationships, but also to things like jobs, your house, your clothes, and such. Your current situation might not be where you want to be, or there might be things in it you don’t like. Still, there are things that you can change for it to be more accommodating.
Throw out the old to make space for the things that do make you happy. Move to a new location, buy pieces of clothing that suit you, and apply for that job you’ve always wanted.
There are some things you won’t be able to change right away, like your current financial state. The only thing you can do is to work toward changing that. Pay off your debts one by one first, and live a frugal lifestyle.
8. Find the Time to Be Selfish
People always tell others to learn how to be selfless, but it’s not often we hear other people telling others to be selfish. You need to know when to stop all the giving and give yourself some time all to yourself.
It’s good to be selfish sometimes. Showing self love is crucial for self-improvement and increasing your self-esteem.
First, learn what makes you happy and feel re-energized, something you can do alone. Is it reading a good book on a nice weekend alone in your room? Is it visiting a spa and pampering yourself without the company of your friends?
Even if you think you don’t deserve it, you owe it to yourself to do those things. After a hectic week at work, schedule a session at the spa, even if it means having to bail out a night out with your friends.
This is you being selfish, but that’s okay. Find the balance in being selfless and selfish, and be at peace with the thought that you need to be selfish first before you can be selfless without it taking a toll on you.
9. Step out of Your Comfort Zone and Do Something New
Sometimes, feeling lost stems from having no excitement in our lives. You may be stuck in your daily routine, which offers no challenges and changes.
The solution to this is obvious: find something that breaks the monotony and do it. It could be a new hobby, like hiking or camping. It could also be something you’ve always wanted to do, like skydiving or traveling to Asia.
If you don’t have much money to spare, find a hobby that doesn’t cost much, such as cooking. If you’re not a social person, challenge yourself by striking up a conversation with your coworkers or someone new at the park.
If you break the monotony with a little change, you might find something to look forward to. Who knows, trying something new might make you learn a little more about yourself.
10. Commune with Nature
When people Google “how to find myself,” this is one of the most common pieces of advice they’ll get. The reason for that is because the company of nothing but nature makes you feel at peace and grounded.
Choose a sunny day and take a hike, go to the park, or walk through the forest. The serenity of nature can help you clear your mind, allowing you to think things through without the noise of other peoples’ thoughts.
It can help you see your own strength and allow you to realize your faults and weaknesses. It can also help you think about what does and doesn’t make you happy.
When you allow yourself to get lost within nature, you can find your true, grounded self.
11. Try Hypnotherapy to Help You Cope with the Changes
Hypnotherapy uses hypnosis as a form of therapy. Clinical hypnotherapy puts you in a trance-like state, helping you achieve what you want.
When you’re in a total state of relaxation, you’ll be more open to suggestions. Your subconscious mind is still listening at that point, and it’s where your bad habits may lie.
It can help you with anxiety, addiction, and illnesses. Plus, you can use it to improve your sleep, learning disorders, and even relationship issues.
You can undergo hypnosis sessions to help you with your goal of finding yourself. There’s going to be a lot of changes in your life now that you’re taking actions to do so. You need your physical and mental state to be at their best state at all times in order to follow through with your newfound convictions.
12. Create a Good Support System
As you go through the process of finding yourself, you’ll need a good support system. The people you surround yourself with can help you to go forward, but it can also keep you accountable.
Surround yourself with good friends who know what you’re going through and what you’re hoping to achieve. These people accept who you are, and they believe you can do whatever you set out to do. Find people who support your dreams and your goals and those who can help you get back to your feet when you’re feeling lost again.
Sometimes, all we need is an ear for when we want to vent, but there will be times when we’ll need a helping hand too.